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Drizzlecake
Alagaësía


46 Posts
Posted - 13/08/2007 :  23:55:14  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Shurely shome mishtake....??
Alive in 2008 thanks to the surgeons and all the staff at the Royal Sussex Oncology Dept.

Miriam Binder
Earthsea



United Kingdom
5305 Posts
Posted - 14/08/2007 :  00:14:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
HA! Wonderful Drizzlecake ... looks as if they could really do with that exstention as well.
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 14/08/2007 :  08:42:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The Argus is taking an increasingly existential view of local news.
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 14/08/2007 :  20:27:45  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Perehaps all the horrors in it should means that it is known as the Evening Ogres
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 18/08/2007 :  19:59:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The Argus appears to have coined a new term.

"Compo". Short for compensation.

A new on on me.

Do people say, "we're going on a cruise when the compo comes through"?

http://www.theargus.co.uk/display.var.1627354.0.brother_of_murdered_schoolboy_denied_compo.php
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Fluffy Sheep
Discworld



1164 Posts
Posted - 18/08/2007 :  22:42:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have seen the term `compo` - graffiti in a north Wales hospital toilet beside the hospital cafe - scrawled on a `wash your hands` poster `NO, claim compo when you get MRSA`. Interesting stuff, graffiti, but not always intelligent.
Row faster, slaves! Caesar wants to waterski!
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 19/08/2007 :  11:39:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
In the Argus's half-sister paper the Leader there is an article about an Indian take-away joint on the Portland Road called Spice Valley.

"Mr Ali told me that although the name was new it had been there for 20 years, formally trading under a different name."

Presumably the journalist was informally dressed? What did she do in a former life?
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Control Panel
Discworld



1166 Posts
Posted - 06/09/2007 :  17:21:39  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Another Argus article full of spelling mistakes, such as "flourescent". Perhaps they will claim it is a joke at the expense of the nutter doctor but that is too subtle to be credible in the Argus.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1663977.0.bogus_doctor_had_green_beacon_on_car.php#comments
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Control Panel
Discworld



1166 Posts
Posted - 07/09/2007 :  08:34:05  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The Argus here mis-spells Catherine Jenkins's name and renames "Vincent" as "Starry Starry Night".

Does anybody read the paper before it's printed? It's becoming such a joke, its sloppiness.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1671605.0.vicar_urges_forgiveness_after_teen_murder.php
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 11/09/2007 :  18:02:53  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The Argus cannot spell "altar" (as in a wedding), as distinct from "love is not love which alters when it alteration finds".

A good thing the Argus is not in the business of producing legal documents or cases would be collapsing all around them.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1680181.0.monster_truck_wedding_turns_heads.php#comments
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  09:18:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Here's an article which describes names being asked as a
"role call"!

http://www.theargus.co.uk/display.var.1684975.0.prisoner_who_was_threatened_escaped_jail.php
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea



United Kingdom
5305 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  09:23:17  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Eejits! everybody knows it is rawlcaul!
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
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Control Panel
Discworld



1166 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  09:50:21  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Perhaps they were combining it with auditions for the prison's annual pantomime.

"Right, who's playing Widow Twanky?"
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caeos
Barsoom



138 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  12:33:13  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
can we blame the american owners for the miss usage of the English language?
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  13:45:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
And here's one headed: "28 jobs keps afloat at boatyard"

Perhaps the Argus could negotiate a group rate at Specsavers.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1682888.0.28_jobs_keps_afloat_at_boatyard.php
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  20:20:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The reporter has got so steamed up over this sex case that Gardner Street has become Gardener street.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/display.var.1688125.0.crooks_escape_with_sex_shop_goodies.php
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea



United Kingdom
5305 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  22:02:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
On the one hand they claim it was a professional job and on the other that the thiefs weren't aware of what they were stealing ... Duh!
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
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Daveb
Discworld



1890 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  22:27:43  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A bunch of imitation knobs!
We're all doomed!
Head for the hills before they start heading for you!
Edited by - Daveb on 13/09/2007 22:42:53
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea



United Kingdom
5305 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  22:49:56  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
in more ways then one Daveb ... in more ways then one
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
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Daveb
Discworld



1890 Posts
Posted - 13/09/2007 :  22:53:59  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
One way at a time is all I can manage!
We're all doomed!
Head for the hills before they start heading for you!
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caeos
Barsoom



138 Posts
Posted - 17/09/2007 :  23:06:51  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
i loved the article about the "porn star loses appeal" come on is the argus the new sun???
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 18/09/2007 :  07:54:46  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Here Worthing has become Uorthing and Western Uestern!

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1695056.0.man_seriously_ill_after_car_smash.php#comments
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea



United Kingdom
5305 Posts
Posted - 18/09/2007 :  08:02:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Looks like the Argus is not only on the highway to becoming a mere rag, having sped through tabloid junction, it is becoming an illiterate rag at that.
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 01/10/2007 :  20:26:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The Argus here prints "new" when it means "knew"...

Did the writers attend Comart?

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1724370.0.airshow_will_not_be_cancelled_despite_death.php
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea



United Kingdom
5305 Posts
Posted - 01/10/2007 :  20:37:55  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
To cut costs they have done away with proofreaders?
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
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Control Panel
Discworld



1166 Posts
Posted - 01/10/2007 :  21:08:08  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Don't you mean rooftreaders?
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 02/10/2007 :  12:09:17  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
In this article lawyers are "pouring" over a document... Have their teacups not got saucers?

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1728651.0.police_want_ban_on_new_pubs_and_clubs.php
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld



1235 Posts
Posted - 06/10/2007 :  11:32:19  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The Argus here has a story about the seabed which refers to "conga" eels instead of conger.

Presumably the staff had a disc of The Little Mermaid playing while they were at work.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1735491.0.0.php
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea



United Kingdom
5305 Posts
Posted - 06/10/2007 :  12:40:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Infinite Poppadum

The Argus here has a story about the seabed which refers to "conga" eels instead of conger.

Presumably the staff had a disc of The Little Mermaid playing while they were at work.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1735491.0.0.php
Or maybe they were having a flashback to the last office party?
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin
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Control Panel
Discworld



1166 Posts
Posted - 06/10/2007 :  16:51:29  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
There is a very good Conga in Leonard Bernstein's "Wonderful Town".
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Daveb
Discworld



1890 Posts
Posted - 07/10/2007 :  16:19:11  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Maybe they all remote keyboards lie the one I am trying to use at the momen. It s crp.
We're all doomed!
Head for the hills before they start heading for you!
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