| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Denise |
Posted - 25/05/2007 : 21:35:36
It is now three weeks since the abduction (if that is what happened) of Madeleine McCann. To be hard-nosed about the matter, the chances that she would be found alive after the first 72 hours became vanishingly small, as the police involved and the journalists reporting the case are only too well aware.
But a vanishingly small chance is still a chance, and children have returned or been found when all hope has died. Like everybody else, I hope with all my heart that this child is found - it seems silly to say "safe and well": found will do.
This sad affair and the public's reaction to it has stirred grumblings that frequently surface when tragedy strikes and the "grief industry" swings in to action.
My father was what you might call a man of backbone. During the War he entered his teens, and in three short years managed to lose his grandmother and younger sister in the bombing raids on Yarmouth, and an older brother (my Uncle Len) in Burma. Dad himself spent part of his national service in Malaya at the time of the Emergency. None of that was ever part of his conversation, even when in his deepest cups.
Dad, until the year before his death, went along to the annual Yarmouth Remembrance Day ceremony. He was always a little hard to talk to on that day, but once it was over, he became his usual chipper self again.
It was as if that was enough. A solemn occasion carried off with dignity by people with real and present grief in their hearts.
Dad never understood and never sympathised with the fashion for roadside memorials at fatal crash sites. He was (as a lot of us were) repulsed by the public wailing over the death of Diana, Princess of Wales. The aftermath of the Selby rail "disaster" exercised him greatly - "Ten deaths is a tragedy - but it is not a disaster!" - and the trumpetting of the Last Post at one of the many joint memorial services for the Selby victims absolutely infuriated him.
Which brings me to one of my many brushes with the "grief industry", my memory prodded by the article reproduced below.
At the time of the Soham murders I was despatched to that town by my television station (Soham falling in the middle of our transmission area) with a team of journalists and two roving ENG units. My job was to line up for interview locals and people who knew the two (then) missing girls and anybody even remotely connected with Ian Huntley (who the Press knew to be the chief suspect long before the news was broken).
What was noticeable about Soham were the very large numbers of people walking about the place, or standing in crowds close to the school. If you asked most of them why they were there (as we did), you would be told that they had come to express their sympathy. When the missing girls' bodies were discovered, Soham became ever more crowded, and carpets of flowers were laid on any vacant spot. Some of these people were in tears.
Locals who actually knew the girls almost uniformly expressed their revulsion. Privately, the police - who took the flowers to lay them - were equally displeased. The Soham locals had very good reason to be upset. They could not understand why all these people, who had provided the local garages with a roaring trade in flowers, needed to invade their town to parade their "grief".
Of course, we couldn't broadcast any of that, and in the current climate it would be a brave television station that did.
But what we and our colleagues in other news organisations recorded was closer to reality than anything that went to air.
The Grief Industry triumphed again, while common sense, dignity and proportion continued their long retreat.
The article below appeared on The Stirrer, the website of Birmingham Mail journalist Adrian Goldberg (among others).
It articulates my thoughts very well - what about yours?
----------------------------------------------------
GOOD GRIEF?
24-05-2007
Wearing your yellow ribbon for missing toddler Madeleine McCann yet? Laurence Inman isn't. He deplores the whole manufactured outpouring of grief that surrounds her disappearance and argues that it's the sign of a sick society.
This week I’ve been forced to remember a couple of things from the distant which I would much sooner have forgotten.
The first was the way certain unscrupulous members of the press tried to contrive what they thought might be a good ‘angle’ on the Aberfan story in 1966. (As if the deaths of over 100 children needed dramatising.)
A couple of Daily Express photographers were found trying to arrange two bits of smashed wood into a rough cross at the disaster site. They made the mistake of asking a passing resident to help. Being a well-built miner, he helped them out of the village instead.
The second was after the disappearance of the two girls from Soham, but before their bodies were found, when the TV news showed some half-drunk lummox who’d come all the way from London ‘to show support.’
He’d dragged his wife and kids along too and they looked on uncomfortably while he snuffled ‘I just felt I had to be here,’ and tried to cry. He couldn’t, of course.
Two films have also come to mind: Ace In The Hole, directed by the great Billy Wilder, and Wag The Dog. Watch them, and then consider how reporters on the scene have treated perfectly innocent people, because they ‘looked strange,’ in their quest for increased sales.
Matthew Parris, the ex-Tory MP, has been criticised for saying that the spectacle of all sorts of public figures displaying yellow ribbons is ‘disgusting.’
But I am inclined to agree with him.
There is no way that any of this show of ‘grief’ can possibly make any difference to the outcome of the terrible case in Portugal. The only way you can do any good is if you are a material witness to something or if you are a member of the actual police investigating team.
Why should anyone feel it necessary to say this ? When did we, as a nation, start behaving like silly children ? When did we start tying bunches of flowers to lamp-posts, even when we didn’t know what for, like people joining a queue just because it’s there ?
When did fat grown men start blubbering at football matches ?
We should be holding these morons up to ridicule, not holding their hands and murmuring ‘There, there.’ They should be pinned down and told that they are not experiencing real emotions; they are pseudo-emotions, brought out for specially the occasion and because they have been told that others will approve, and which will be completely forgotten as soon as they’re alone again.
They should be reminded that ‘outpouring’ is a derogatory term, not something to be proud of for crying out loud.
You can’t switch the telly on these days without seeing someone’s face crumple up like a soggy hankie because they’re fat, or their nose is the ‘wrong’ shape, or they only won £20,000 on Deal Or No Deal instead of hanging on to win a little more. What are these idiots going to do when something really tragic happens ? Explode ?
Children disappear, or are attacked, or killed, with depressing regularity. Often they are not pretty, or blond-haired, or white. Their parents can be shabbily-dressed, inarticulate and feckless. They go missing without the whole nation pretending to be upset about them. Kids are horribly injured by careless prats driving 4X4’s with bull-bars. We shrug our shoulders and turn to the racing page.
Madeleine McCann may turn up safe and well. She may not. In either case, we and the papers will soon forget the whole business. I refuse to pretend that I will feel anything like her parents’ joy or pain at the outcome.
And I will continue to warn anyone who will listen that this kind of madness is, contrary to what we are being told, a very bad sign for the way our society is going. The most ruthless, violent and savage societies have nearly always also been the most sentimental and mawkish.
Has Laurence said what you've been thinking but hadn't dared to say? Or is he just a heartless b-----d?
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| 30 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Fluffy Sheep |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 23:20:15
I think they may have chosen not to trust the sitter. In that case, they should have taken the children with them, or dined in their own rooms. Most Mediterranean countries have a different attitude to children from ours in the UK.
I don`t know about that particular restaurant, but if young children weren`t welcome there there`d have been others where they would be.
We took four fosterlings to Crete when they were aged between 2 and 8. We were regulars with them at the same taverna for our evening meal. Other folks there, Greeks, Germans, Dutch and Belgian, were friendly and tolerant of the youngsters` presence. One night, my cousin and her teenage daughter took the kids to their neighbours` for the evening, and Hubby and I went to the taverna and dined alone....that was the only time we got any dirty looks - outright scowls from some Greek and German folks who thought we`d left the kids behind - until we explained where they were.
The other option for parents who want a break from little ones, is take their holiday alone together and leave the tots at home with grandparents.
|
| Miriam Binder |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 22:56:29
quote:
Originally posted by long time no see
They should have used her.
Leaving the kids Alone was very wrong.
Yes LTNS ... they should have ... They didn't. What has that to do with the search for her now or the Madeleine fund? |
| long time no see |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 22:46:57
They should have used her.
Leaving the kids Alone was very wrong. |
| FUBAR |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 22:37:33
And of course the sitter is above reproach. Are they vetted? Hold any qualifications? Any first aid training? It gets to the point where who can you trust with your children? On vacation should you let them sleep in another room or with you, how much freedom can they have? Using a hotel sitter or even the hotel child clubs all have risks, how far would you risk your childs safety now....... |
| long time no see |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 22:21:55
Fund to keep them in that country, maybe.
That couple could have used a Sitter from that Hotel.
Source: Sky News.
|
| Fluffy Sheep |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 22:14:47
What I fail to understand is WHY a Fund (charity by any other name) has to be set up for a search for a missing child to be continued! A child is missing, the search should continue until the child is found, or forensic evidence to end the search. |
| Miriam Binder |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 21:21:46
quote:
Originally posted by long time no see
Who Cares.
Evidently you do not. I must say though that I am concerned about donations flooding in to a company limited by guarantee ...
A company limited by guarantee is an alternative type of incorporation used primarily for non-profit organisations that require corporate status. A guarantee company does not have a share capital, but has members who are guarantors instead of shareholders. The guarantors give an undertaking to contribute a nominal amount towards the winding up of the company in the event of a shortfall upon cessation of business. It cannot distribute its profits to its members, and is therefore eligible to apply for charitable status if necessary.
I know that the nominal amount that directors of EB4U - another company limited by guarantee - is £1.00 - or least-ways that was the nominal amount stipulated when the company was set up. |
| long time no see |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 20:03:03
Who Cares.
Back in the UK
we have more problems. |
| Miriam Binder |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 19:58:14
quote:
Originally posted by Daveb
The Madeleine fund Trustees appear to be at odds with the parents.
The parents want to spend the money to keep up the search.
The Trustees seem reluctant.
Very strange if you ask me.
This is not a even a charity, so are the Trustees protecting their jobs?
Do they get paid?
quote:
The directors are not paid as directors of the company. However, they may, if family members, be beneficiaries of the Fund and they may, as is the case with some registered charities, be paid for providing services to the Fund. The Fund has established conflict of interest policies to deal with these situations.
Currently, as at the end of July 2007, none of the directors are being paid for providing services to the Fund.
here
|
| Daveb |
Posted - 26/08/2007 : 19:36:45
The Madeleine fund Trustees appear to be at odds with the parents.
The parents want to spend the money to keep up the search.
The Trustees seem reluctant.
Very strange if you ask me.
This is not a even a charity, so are the Trustees protecting their jobs?
Do they get paid? |
| Fluffy Sheep |
Posted - 14/08/2007 : 23:46:41
No, DaveB, I just feel guilty that I didn`t do or say anything. I DID notice, and watch, and if the mother/mothers hadn`t appeared I couldn`t have driven off and left the situation. Some of the retailers car parks do have attendants (if only to ensure nobody parks there more than 2 hours) but this one doesn`t. |
| Daveb |
Posted - 14/08/2007 : 21:21:26
You cannot feel guilty for every uncaring parent.
These will be the parents that cannot believe their little darlings will do anything wrong.
After all they are dragging their kids up proper, ain't they? |
| Fluffy Sheep |
Posted - 14/08/2007 : 21:15:14
But I, and quite a lot of other folks who came and went, did NOTHING.
And I bet those women are all bleeding-hearts about little Maddie. |
| Daveb |
Posted - 14/08/2007 : 20:42:12
You did well not to speak to the "parents"
If they just shouted at the kids, just think what abuse you would have got.
Aldi staff would do nothing.
Phoning the police would have been the best option.
That is unless these kids were CSPOs!
|
| Fluffy Sheep |
Posted - 14/08/2007 : 20:35:57
While all the media focus on the tragic abduction of a small child goes on, at least, wouldn`t you think, folks will me more aware of the dangers of leaving their young unattended???
This really bothers me still -
Last week, I pulled into our Aldi car park intending to nip through the hedge to Boots. I saw a maroon car with the windows open (it was hot that day) and 2 small boys, the eldest couldn`t be more than 4 years old, laughing and playing inside it, no accompanying adult in sight, but plenty of folks coming back to or leaving other cars nearby. I hesitated, considered going in to Aldi and alerting the staff to these 2 kids unattended in a car on Aldi carpark... I decided (WHY?)to just nip into Boots quickly and tthen see if they were still there and report it to Aldi staff. I got side-tracked and was a lot longer in Boots than I`d expected, but when I got back to my car the other car was still there, no adult in there, and still the 2 little boys, and the younger one was getting fractious and tearful, while the older one was still trying to sound happy and boisterous...
I looked around, and still folks were coming into the car park, getting out of cars, and coming out of Aldi getting into cars, and nobody was taking any notice of the maroon car and the 2 kids.
I headed for Aldi entrance, kept looking back to see if folks coming out went to that car. I did hesitate, and then 2 young women came out and went to the car and shouted at the kids.
What really bugs me is that I did NOTHING.
I`d considered reporting to Aldi staff, considered ringing police, and considered keeping watch and speaking to the parents when they returned - and I didn`t even do that!
I`m quite ashamed.
I`m also amazed that nobody else, all those folks coming and going, took any notice either.
|
| thedelboy |
Posted - 14/08/2007 : 10:13:41
Of course you have the right to post your opinion LTNS same as everyone else,I think what is being said by myself and others is "as none of us have been in or are in the position of the Mc cann family we should not speculate or imply what they should or should not do"I think that is fair enough!as a parent myself(albeit in absentia) I would be terrified if anything happened to my kids (all grown up now) |
| long time no see |
Posted - 13/08/2007 : 19:23:11
This Forum has a Thread on
the subject Pel.
No one will join another Forum just for this Topic.
It is in Every Newspaper again
so any poster on here has the Right to give a view.
FACT. |
| Pelagia |
Posted - 13/08/2007 : 18:49:51
Please not here. Go over to the Mirror forum if you really want to have a go. There you will see evil in its lowest form. It's a load of sock puppets, and I am certain (and i am not the only one) that there are actually a load of paedos posting there.
This forum is one of the few there are which has no Madeline thread, it's a haven of tranquility (sometimes) lets keep it like that! |
| Miriam Binder |
Posted - 13/08/2007 : 12:20:30
quote:
Originally posted by long time no see
But we can say they should return home.
You can say that you think they should return home. You can say whatever you like. They should do what they feel they should do ... unless you have a very daughter gone missing under similar circumstances, you cannot really enter into what those parents feel LTNS. |
| long time no see |
Posted - 13/08/2007 : 12:17:51
But we can say they should return home. |
| thedelboy |
Posted - 13/08/2007 : 10:55:58
we should NOT speculate,especially on something as bad as this;just think how you would feel if you were the parent.I hope they find her alive soon,Natasha the german girl was found 14/15 years later lets hope it does not take so long to find her(either way )just so the parents can either grieve or rejoice whichever!(I hope they will be able to rejoice) |
| Miriam Binder |
Posted - 13/08/2007 : 06:36:39
quote:
Originally posted by Daveb
We do not have all the facts and I would be very pleased if Madeleine is found alive and well.
Exactly so Daveb and plenty of people are speculating ... |
| Daveb |
Posted - 13/08/2007 : 06:25:43
We do not have all the facts and I would be very pleased if Madeleine is found alive and well.
Three months after the event there maybe blood on the wall!
Did they not see this at the time?
There is just something strange about this.
A bit like the Bob Woolmer case.
First it was murder, marks around the throat, then months down the line...oh actually it was not.
These are trained medics and police we are talking about. |
| long time no see |
Posted - 12/08/2007 : 22:35:37
Jodan is no longer on this Site Delboy. |
| thedelboy |
Posted - 12/08/2007 : 21:37:16
IT is "NOT" for anyone to judge until full facts are available!Even then it will be for the judicial system to judge,What is wrong with people today?they are damned if they stay and they are damned if they leave(the Mc canns;I really feel for not only the parents but also for the family as a whole(even the villagers)What I abhore is the fact Murats lawyer coming out with his crapola and also some of the ignorant posts on here!
Jodan she is blond and blue eyed I thought you would be spitting blood about this!but as usual you talk shit |
| long time no see |
Posted - 12/08/2007 : 20:58:46
quote:
Originally posted by Miriam Binder
Oh for Pete's sake if you want to spout of a load of ill-informed claptrap ... be my guest!
What is Your problem?
Two Posters with Views have Posted.
If you do not like Our Views
go on another thread.
You Keep doing this
You are Out Of Order. |
| Miriam Binder |
Posted - 12/08/2007 : 20:52:38
Oh for Pete's sake if you want to spout of a load of ill-informed claptrap ... be my guest!
http://forums.mirror.co.uk/viewforum.php?f=31 |
| long time no see |
Posted - 12/08/2007 : 20:19:26
quote:
Originally posted by Daveb
The more this goes on I am sorry to say I am starting to think one of the parents killed her.
My feeling is it was the mother.
If that is True then
they must be Locked away for Life.
If it is not true
then they would be better
to return to the UK. |
| long time no see |
Posted - 12/08/2007 : 20:17:49
One Important Interview on SkyNews
had a Lady talking about some Facts
that have been missed.
One is that Hotel
has baby sitters
it would have been better if they used that service.
I also think they must leave that Nation.
If Any news comes in they can fly back at any time.
Other Familys will not go on Holiday
in that area because of Them.
They must leave,
staying there makes no change. |
| Daveb |
Posted - 12/08/2007 : 19:55:17
The more this goes on I am sorry to say I am starting to think one of the parents killed her.
My feeling is it was the mother. |
