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Control Panel
Discworld
1166 Posts |
 Posted - 06/07/2007 : 17:26:27
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Can you post more details?
The competition cannot involve spending any money at Greggs, can it, what with being on Radio 2? Or perhaps Greggs has been taking lessons from Mr Fanshawe in how to turn such a station to serve one's own ends.
Just look at this Greggs Trust scandal. |
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Daveb
Discworld
1895 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 17:36:03
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Only caught the tail end of it.
That with the shock of hearing Greggs mentioned on national radio it was all too much.
Sounded like £300 prize.
So much for the bandstand!
Still listening
Don't touch that dial! |
We're all doomed!
Head for the hills before they start heading for you! |
Edited by - Daveb on 06/07/2007 17:36:53 |
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Control Panel
Discworld
1166 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 18:10:14
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| £300 prize? That's an alarming number of pies! |
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Captain Hawkeye
Barsoom
United Kingdom
391 Posts |
 Posted - 06/07/2007 : 19:16:42
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Rumour is that this forum, indeed this topic is the international centre of Greggs information.
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Daveb
Discworld
1895 Posts |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:23:41
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A £350 prize from Greggs? That would be worth just a few bags of apples elsewhere!
For too long LTNS has proclaimed that Greggs is good value. The authorities have stepped in.
Picture LTNS in the dock in his best suit as the Prosecution makes its case (it will be on YouTube shortly thanks to a discreet hand-held camera):
"M'Lud, can I direct your attention to this Greggs production [holds up plastic packet]? This costs £1.49! £1.49... That is thirty bob to you, M' Lud. Thirty bob! And what would you get for that that thirty bob, this thing masquerading as a fruit salad? [peels off plastic top, pulls out fruit] less than half a apple, a couple of grapefruit segments, a couple of orange pieces, a few grapes, and a few blueberries. Thirty bob! I put it to you. M'Lud, that any self-respecting person on the London Road would, M'Lud, leg it fast - as they say down there - round the corner and into the Open Market, where, for that thirty bob, you would get enough fruit to last a week of lunches, and, what's more..."
Judge. "Stop, I have heard enough. This is one of the greatest cases of fraud ever to have come before more in a long career upon the Bench, and I have no choice but to save the public from any more of these scams - as I believe they are known - and I shall ensure that Long Time No See lives up to his name by directing the jury to find him guilty as charged and send him to Lewes Gaol for five years - with no remission."
[Cheers on all sides.]
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Daveb
Discworld
1895 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:27:17
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Five Years?
Thats a Long Time No Tea (at 75p)
Also a great song by David Bowie |
We're all doomed!
Head for the hills before they start heading for you! |
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long time no see
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6439 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:30:34
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quote:
Originally posted by Infinite Poppadum
Greggs is good value.
Bang On Right. |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
5311 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:33:50
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quote:
Originally posted by long time no see
Right.
No, I think you'll find that is Neo-Labour. |
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:34:21
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| LTNS, for his further crime of quoting out of context,. has immediately prompted the Governor at Lewes Gaol to order that, for the next week, he will be given only bread and water - and Greggs bread at that. |
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long time no see
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6439 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:39:42
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quote:
Originally posted by Miriam Binder
No, I think you'll find that is Neo-Labour.
Miriam Behave like a Adult
Stop being a Lemming , yet again.
Stay on Topic. |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
5311 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:42:59
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| Yes LTNS ... whatever you say LTNS |
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 06/07/2007 : 20:43:39
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| It looks as though LTNS has a "trustie" posting his messages on the Forum while he sits in a dark cell on an evening when the rest of us enjoy a red sun setting on the horizon (or as much as you can see of that in Portslade). |
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Captain Hawkeye
Barsoom
United Kingdom
391 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 09:14:54
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What is this ?
Greggs now taking over Lewes Gaol. That makes a change from the Lobster dinner allegedly held there. |
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Control Panel
Discworld
1166 Posts |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
5311 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 10:09:01
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| What a lovely article! |
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 13:56:50
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| Extraordinary news coming through from Lewes. Hope to get more dettails later. |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 14:38:13
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There has so far been a media blackout but word is that Long Time No See has broken out from Lewes Gaol.
Apparently, he dug his way from the building overnight, and left a vital clue behind him. Somebody had smuggled in a three-day-old Greggs baguette, and this is even more powerful than a granite-tipped drill when it comes to digging. Cuts through anything.
The Police are keeping an eye on all branches of Greggs in the area. They are working on the well-known theory that such people cannot help but return to the scene of the crime.
LTNS has been brought low by a fruit salad. |
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Control Panel
Discworld
1166 Posts |
Posted - 07/07/2007 : 16:45:12
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| Apparently suspicions were aroused which, with hindsight, should have led them to keep a closer watch on LTNS. He offered a warder a completed Greggs card - buy seven hot drinks and get the eigth free - but the fellow took this as a joke raher than an honour, and he did not open the door and lok the other way. |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2007 : 11:15:15
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| It is becoming peculiarly chic to offer guests at home a paper napkin obtained from Greggs. |
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Control Panel
Discworld
1166 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2007 : 11:32:57
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In Sussex, Greggs cider is restricted to sales from Middle Farm at Firle.
It would certainly not be wise to let thise potent brew loose upon the London Road regulars. |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2007 : 19:58:57
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Here is news of a Greggs escapee. No, not LTNS, who seems to be in the Lewes Road area right now, but word from Scotland.
This man Richard Bath is reviewing a meal at the Peat Inn at Caspar, a mile from Edinbrugh, and he describes the £8 rhubarb pastry as looking and tasting like "an escapee from Greggs". What a splendid expression.
This shows the shows the true reputation of Greggs, despite what LTNS would have us believe.
His review has excited some comments up there.
http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=1256&id=769022007
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Daveb
Discworld
1895 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2007 : 20:12:49
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Yes LNTS is currently being held up by or holding up traffic in Lewes Road.
He has been seen offering free sausage rolls to those in the jam.
The screaming is already at a high level.
Should he offer the rhubarb crumble the viaduct could be in danger of collapse.
All police and hospital staff leave has been cancelled. |
We're all doomed!
Head for the hills before they start heading for you! |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2007 : 20:16:56
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| Such behaviour must confirm the additional report that, during the breakout with that three-day-old Greggs baguette LTNS was also hit over the head with it in the scuffle. |
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Daveb
Discworld
1895 Posts |
Posted - 08/07/2007 : 20:20:18
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| Yes, the damage to the baguette was very bad. |
We're all doomed!
Head for the hills before they start heading for you! |
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Control Panel
Discworld
1166 Posts |
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Infinite Poppadum
Discworld
1237 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 10:29:32
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The Governor of Lewes Gaol has just issued a statement in which he says that, regretable though the weekend's "incident" was, some good has come from this adversity. All remaining prisoners will now be put on a chain gang and issued with pickaxes with which to hack into small pieces mounds of three-day-old Greggs pastry.
The Chairman of Greggs has said that he is delighted, "and this goes to show that Greggs remains committed to playing its part in the community". |
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Control Panel
Discworld
1166 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 13:00:13
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| A prisoner's wife, when hearing about the Greggs rockpile, immediately contacted her lawyer but he said that they would not have a leg to stand on - especially after a day's efforts with those pickaxes and pastry. He also explained that any judge would simply say that the prisoners should be grateful they had only to chop up the Greggs items, and not eat them. |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
5311 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 13:13:28
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Personally I should say it comes under cruel and unusual punishment and that that prisoner's wife would be well advised to take matters up with a Human Rights lawyer ASAP.
I hear CB is looking for more clients |
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" - Benjamin Franklin |
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Captain Hawkeye
Barsoom
United Kingdom
391 Posts |
Posted - 09/07/2007 : 15:53:11
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From another topic :
quote:
Originally posted by Miriam Binder
quote:
Originally posted by long time no see
Of Course not
but being Mobile makes the Safe and Clean.
Oh I see ... maybe a way forward for Greggs then.
As ever this forum is first in the country with Greggs innovative ideas.
By the way, at Western Road this lunchtime, big queues at Greggs. Free tea ? |
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New Greggs London Road (original thread)
Topic Locked