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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 08:39:11
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Originally posted by april
Rabbi Cohen is sitting in his normal place in the cafe drinking coffee when Rabbi Abel comes in and seeing him looking depressed he asks whats up.
Rabbi Cohen puts his head in his hands and says 'its my son he wants to become a Christian'. Rabbi Abel says 'funny you should say that my son wants to become a Christian too .. I don't know what to do .. my son .. a Christian'.
At this point Rabbi Horowitz comes into the cafe and seeing his two friends with their heads in their hands he says 'Whats up', they respond 'Our sons want to become a Christians'. Rabbi Horowitz raises his hands in astonishment and says 'Funny you should say that my son wants to become a Christian too!' They reply 'This is terrible what can we do'? 'We must go to the synagogue at once all three of us and pray to God to ask what we can do in our terrible plight.'
So all three of them go to the synagogue and pray to God 'Please help us .. our sons want to become Christians what can we do'.
A voice comes down from above saying ....
...
'Funny you should say that .. my son wants to become a Christian too'.
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 08:49:12
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Originally posted by Miriam Binder
An old one but a goody
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 08:49:51
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Originally posted by Lurker
MB are there any jokes you haven't heard? Please share.
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:08:01
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Originally posted by Miriam Binder
quote:
Originally posted by Tombstone Blues
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while she was there she went out to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and>she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
Linda is a blonde, but I'm certain that's not relevant.
This one still has me in hysterics every time ... Whenever I need a good belly-rumbling side-splitting laugh ... This will do it. |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:08:42
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Originally posted by Lurker
Excellent MB :-)
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:10:36
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Originally posted by P.Head
So did he get the job or what?
No joyful missives from Motley? Its all gone avocado shaped hasn`t it?
Hope I`m talking tosh again! Best of luck & Happy Easter all you fluffy chicks!
I`m off for a week in about half an hour & feel like I`m stumbling over the line .. don`t know about you lot but I am going to get steamboats! Binge Britain tut tut
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:11:19
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Originally posted by Ian
A couple decide to go for a meal on their anniversary and after some deliberation decide on their local Chinese restaurant.
They peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef's special chicken surprise. The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.
'Jesus, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and again he sees two beady little eyes looking around before it firmly slams back down.
Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over, says what is happening and demands an explanation.
'Well sir', says the waiter, 'What did you order?'
'We both chose the same', he replies, 'the chicken surprise'
'Oh I do apologise, this is my fault' says the waiter......'I've brought you the Peking duck'
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:12:04
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Originally posted by Tombstone Blues
A brave, or very stupid, man.
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:13:03
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Originally posted by Miriam Binder
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:14:46
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Originally posted by Tombstone Blues
I have a vague feeling someone may have posted this before - if so, apologies. Besides, it's worth a second read.
Below is a copy of a real-life customer complaint letter sent to NTL
(to their complaints dept) that won a competition in the UK as complaint
letter of the year.
Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for
your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During
this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of
service which I had not previously
considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity
of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,
so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to
rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can
have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working
day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my
spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your
technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57
minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more
annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful
website....HOW?
I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes
- an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,
although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -
such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modem
had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem
arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.
I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hours
between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I am
still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my
mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a
variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly
skilled bollock jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone
will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows
whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);
that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an
answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be
transferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritating
Scottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a
thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one
of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I
don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration's
in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,
therefore, if I continue.
I thought BT were shit, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of
godawful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more
disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service
to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't
anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered
to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless
shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of
distended rectum incompetents of the highest order.
British Telecom - ****ers though they are - shine like brilliant
beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless
inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and
foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that
you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for
the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to
deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and
disbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused
rage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my
cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt
for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have
not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the
time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you
did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider
them,the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthless
employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you
irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of ****s.
John
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:16:13
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Originally posted by Rundaddy
Thank you God for TB's post.
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:18:30
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Originally posted by Dingo
This is for real unbelievably. 419 scam attempt - seen better!!!!
Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. XXXXXXX
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Dear Mr. Sir,
REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.
In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.
Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.
Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.
Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number xxxxx only.
Yours Sincerely, Dr. XXXXXX
Astronautics Project Manager
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 10:20:38
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Originally posted by Dingo
One for LTNS ?
George Bush Quotes
"I think there were some differences, there's no question, and will still be. We're talking about a major, major situation here that requires constant work. But it was well worth it and there's much more to it than just this - I mean just these sixteen accomplishments or whatever: I mean, we've got a major rapport - relationship of economics, major in the security, and all of that, we should not lose sight of."
--1/10/92 to reporters, on his trip to Japan
"Please don't look at the part of the glass that is only half full."
--11/6/91
"No you're not going to see me stay put... I am not going to forsake my responsibilities. You may not see me put as much - I mean, un-put as much"
--11/8/91
"You cannot be president of the United States of you don't have faith. Remember Lincoln, going to his knees in times of trial and the Civil War and all that stuff. You can't be. And we are blessed. So don't feel sorry for - don't cry for me, Argentina."
--1/15/92
"I think I've got to do better in making clear what the message is, and I think I can do better. But I think there's so much noise out there that I've got to figure out how to make it clearer that we are for the things that I have advocated that would help."
--2/18/91
"Your dedication and tireless work with the hostage thing, with Central America, really give me cause for great pride in you and thanks. Get some turkey, George Bush."
-- Vice President George Bush in a written expression of gratitude to Oliver North, circa Thanksgiving 1985. Read by North during his interview with Ted Koppel on "Nightline," 10/22/91
"I don't want to just sit here blaming Congress. I mean, we're all in this together."
--President Bush, 11/20/91 to news anchor Bill Stuart of KCNC-TV, Denver.
"I think the Congress should be blamed."
--several minutes later, to Warner Saunders of WMAQ-TV, Chicago.
"If a frog had wings, he wouldn't hit his tail on the ground. 'If.' Too hypothetical."
"And let me say in conclusion, thanks for the kids. I learned an awful lot about bathtub toys - about how to work the telephone. One guy knows - several of them know their own phone numbers - preparation to go to the dentist. A lot of things I'd forgotten. So it's been a good day."
-- January 21, at a Head Start center in Catonsville, Maryland
"The guy over there at Pease - a woman actually - she said something about a country-western song about the train, a light at the end of the tunnel... I only hope it's not a train coming the other way. Well, I said to her, well, I'm a country music fan. I love it, always have. Doesn't fit the mold of some of the columnists, I might add, but nevertheless - of what they think I ought to fit in, but I love it. You should have been with me at the c.m.a. awards at Nashville. But nevertheless, I said to them there's another one that the Nitty Ditty Nitty Gritty Great Bird - and it says if you want to see a rainbow you've got to stand a little rain. We've had a little rain. New Hampshire has had too much rain."
"And so I do understand New Hampshire because I have this wonderfully warm feeling that New Hampshire feels exactly the way we do on these questions of family values and faith. Somebody said to me, we prayed for you over there. That was not just because I threw up on the Prime Minister of Japan, either. Where was he when I needed him? I said, let me tell you something. And I say this - I don't know whether any ministers from the episcopal church are here - I hope so. But I said to him this: You're on to something here. You cannot be President of the United States if you don't have faith. It's been great. I'll go back to Washington all fired up for tomorrow and tackle the President or the Prime Minister of this or the Governor of that coming in. But I'll have this heartbeat..."
"You're burning up time. The meter is running through the sand on you and I am now fillibustering."
"I see this glass not half-empty, but half-full and more."
"Ours is a great state, and we don't like limits of any kind. Ricky Clunn is one of the great bass fishermen. He's a Texas young guy, and he's a very competitive fisherman, and he talked about learning to fish wading in the creeks behind his dad. He in his underwear went wading in the creeks behind his father, and he said - as a fisherman he said it's great to grow up in a country with no limits..."
"Somebody - somebody asked me, what's it take to win? I said to them, I can't remember, what does it take to win the Super Bowl? Or maybe Steinbrenner, my friend George, will tell us what it takes for the Americans to win - one run. But I went over to the Strawberry Festival this morning, and ate a piece of shortcake over there - able to enjoy it right away, and once I completed it, it didn't have to be approved by Congress - I just went ahead and ate it - and that leads me into what I want to talk to you about today..."
--March 4, at a fund-raising lunch in Tampa, Florida
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 11:38:20
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Originally posted by Miriam Binder
That was immensely satisfying Evil Maria ... thank you.
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 11:41:18
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Originally posted by evil maria
New words for 2005
TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking b*llocks.
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline
was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps
on everything, and then leaves.
ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and
advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream
only to get screwed and die.
CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.
PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a
cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going
on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may
be cake.)
MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch
potato.
SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What
yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working
to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and
whiny.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the cr*p out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded
"administrivia" needless paperwork and processes.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message
"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be
located.
OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that
you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')
GOING FOR A McSH*T - Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention
of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply
staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food
afterwards is known as a McSh*t with Lies.
BEER COAT - The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a
booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
BEER COMPASS - The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home
after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you
live, how you got here, and where you've come from.
BREAKING THE SEAL - Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of
drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the
toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the
night.
JOHNNY-NO-STARS - A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical
adolescent who works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from
the badges displaying stars that staff at fast-food restaurants often
wear to show their level of training.
MILLENNIUM DOMES - The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely
impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually nought in
there worth seeing.
MONKEY BATH - A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:
"Oo! Oo! Ho! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
MYSTERY BUS - The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while
you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the
unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when
you come back in.
MYSTERY TAXI - The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning
before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves
a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
SALAD DODGER - An excellent phrase for an overweight person.
SWAMP-DONKEY - A deeply unattractive woman.
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 11:42:06
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Originally posted by Ian
Brilliant, E.M,
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 11:56:50
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] Originally posted by ingetal
http:www.wackytimes.com
Cosmetic surgery for pets, 3 bedroom SUVs, Da Vinci Code cracked, etc.
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
Posted - 27/03/2007 : 11:57:30
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Originally posted by Lurker
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible".
"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine"
"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."
"Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now".
"Well, ok, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"
"We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really".
"What about that eye patch?"
"Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them "beep" in my eye".
"You're kidding," said the bartender, "you couldn't lose an eye just from some bird doo-doo?"
"It was my first day with the hook"
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n/a
deleted
66 Posts |
 Posted - 27/03/2007 : 14:34:13
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| Went to the cemetary to put some flowes down the other day. As i was standing there i noticed 4 grave diggers carrying a coffin. 3 hours go by and they are still walking about with it. I thought to myself thes f****** have lost the plot...... |
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Sephiroth
Alagaësía
5 Posts |
Posted - 30/03/2007 : 20:00:53
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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Americanee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends .
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong".
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." -A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain'tgonnabelievethisshit....
Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides |
Edited by - Sephiroth on 30/03/2007 20:01:50 |
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Dingo
Barsoom
United Kingdom
296 Posts |
Posted - 30/03/2007 : 21:04:11
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What's a wok for?
Fwowing at wabbits when your wifle wuns out of buwwets. |
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Denise
Barsoom
129 Posts |
Posted - 31/03/2007 : 13:37:41
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This might be my second deleted post. I've been a bad girl!
Anyway, I formally release this gay joke into the heterosexual wild:
A woman went to her doctor to complain of a rash on the inside of each of her thighs.
Examining her, the doctor asked: "Are you a lesbian?"
"Yes," replied the woman.
"Well tell your girlfriend to take her ear-rings off the next time you have sex!" |
Voice of Reason / Norfolk Unity |
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Miriam Binder
Earthsea
United Kingdom
6136 Posts |
 Posted - 31/03/2007 : 13:40:16
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Ouch   |
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Denise
Barsoom
129 Posts |
Posted - 31/03/2007 : 13:56:41
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An old one -
June and Kim were two young women who had lived together for years, but June had never admitted to her family that she was gay. One Sunday June's mother came for dinner, and as she watched the girls setting things out she became more and more suspicious that June and Kim were lovers.
Watching the suspicion grow on her mother's face, June suddenly blurted out: "I know what you're thinking, Mother, and you're quite wrong. We're just two friends sharing a house. We have seperate bedrooms, you know!"
Some days went by, when Kim told June that the cruet set had disappeared on the same Sunday her mother had come to dinner. The two girls hunted high and low for the cruet set, just to be sure, but came to the conclusion that June's mother must have made off with it.
And so June telephoned her mother. "Look, Mother," she said, "I'm not saying you did take our cruet set, and I'm not saying you didn't take our cruet set, but there's no getting around the fact that it's been missing ever since you came to Sunday dinner."
"Well," returned the mother, "I'm not saying that you do sleep with Kim, and I'm not saying you don't sleep with Kim, but there's no getting around the fact that if she slept in her own bed she would have found the cruet set by now." |
Voice of Reason / Norfolk Unity |
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Dingo
Barsoom
United Kingdom
296 Posts |
Posted - 01/04/2007 : 20:56:31
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| Old but good Denise :-) |
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Tombstone Blues
Earthsea
2246 Posts |
Posted - 02/04/2007 : 09:04:25
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Q: "How do you titillate an ocelot?"
A: "Oscillate its tit a lot." |
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Dingo's Humour Thread